Structure

I’m a wheel stuck in a rut. Every day going through the same motions. Every day going the same path.

I love it.

It’s my rut.

I know it so well. I know what to expect. And even when something unexpected happens, it’s still in the acceptable range. It’s still something I can let go of after a glass of wine in the evening.

But then something pushes me. I start to shake. I start to lose control. And before I know it I am gone from my rut. My rut is nowhere to be seen. I am in a great big field full of the unknown.

I don’t know where I am. I don’t know where I’m going. Where did I come from? And did it even make sense to come this far? I start to question everything. I panic. I can’t go back to my rut. The only thing I can think of is making a new one. Start going in circles again.

Is this the best way?

What else can I do.

I need structure. Otherwise I don’t know what to do with myself.

Except write about it.

New Year’s Eve in Sofia

I spent this New Year’s Eve in Sofia, my home town. My boyfriend and I went to a friend of a friend’s apartment on the 20th floor of a typical socialist looking building. The view was amazing – we saw half the city. We weren’t facing the centre, so at midnight when everything exploded with fireworks, it wasn’t an official show or anything like that. It was just a lot of people, who bought a lot of fireworks, celebrating the beginning of the new year.

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And yet, New Year’s always makes me sad. It’s hope and desperation all at once. It’s a moment when the passage of time is celebrated, because it brings us away from the bad things that happened in the past and forward, towards a hypothetically better future. And maybe it will be better for some of us. Maybe it will be worse.But I can’t think about the passage of time without feeling powerless and … temporary…

So hey, happy new year to everybody!

High above Ljubljana

I travelled to Slovenia for the first time at the end of October. Autumn travelling is a risky ordeal, you never know if you are going to get sunny days or wet feet. We got both actually, but we were lucky and the rain didn’t ruin any of our plans. We stayed in Ljubljana for 3 nights, in a hotel with a Robert Frost quote on the wall, and we explored a bit of the country outside of its capital. We ended up not spending that much time in Ljubljana actually, apart from the evenings and a walking tour we did shortly before leaving. We managed to go to Ljubljana’s first skyscraper though – the Nebotičnik – which has a cafe on it’s thirteenth and final floor, from which you get a 360 degree view of the city. Continue reading “High above Ljubljana”

Stift Klosterneuburg

Klosterneuburg is a little town just outside of Vienna. It has a big Catholic monastery that I got to visit today. It was founded in the twelfth century by St. Leopold, whose wife Agnes, way more impressively, had 22 children – 11 from her first marriage to a duke that died and 11 from her second to Leopold. She was also the sister of the Roman Emperor Henry V.

So anyway, yeah. 22 children.

I’ll give you a second to imagine that.

22.

Ready? Ok, lets move on.  Continue reading “Stift Klosterneuburg”

Mondsee

Some gas stations are boring and ugly. Some gas stations have views like this.

And yet, I don’t own a car.

I was going somewhere with this…

With my life?

No, I was going to Salzburg. That’s when we stopped at the gas station next to the lake. It was a good gas station. It had all the right stuff. It had coffee. And gas, I suppose. That was what, 3 years ago? What is a gas station you remember from 3 years ago? And were you going somewhere with your life?

Do you ever start a post about gas stations and end up with a mid-week existential crisis? Those are all interesting questions.

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My first time in Prague

My first time in Prague was in the summer of 2013. A friend of mine was doing an exchange semester in Bratislava and I went to visit her one day. There I met some of her friends – a British guy and a German guy – and we spend a fun day together. The guys were actually planning a trip to Prague, which my friend couldn’t attend, and they invited me to join them.  Continue reading “My first time in Prague”

Hallstatt

Here’s the thing.

I grew up in Sofia, a city pretty much surrounded by mountains. Every day when I went outside I saw Vitosha – the 2290 m high constant companion to my struggles. Most of the times I didn’t even realise it was there, but I did realise that when it was gone, I missed it. It took me a couple of years of living in Vienna to notice that its landscape flatness left me yearning for something different. It took me another couple of years to start going to Google Maps obsessively looking for the fastest way to get to a mountain.

I didn’t want much! Just to sit somewhere with a glass of something (coffee or wine depending on the hour of the day) and to admire the magnificent earth wrinkles. Who would have thought that it would be so difficult to get to a mountain in Austria – the land has the fucking Alps for god’s sake! But every option seemed too far away or too expensive to a person who was used to having the mountains just, like, right there. But then came my birthday and I was desperate to get out. A friend of mine recommended Hallstatt a couple of years ago and I decided to see what all the fuss was about. It took me, all in all, 4 hours on 2 trains, some minutes on a boat full of Asian tourists and 20 Euro to get there and of course, the same to get back. But damn, it was so worth it! The hotels in Hallstatt were way above my price range, so the whole adventure took place on a single day – my 27th birthday.  Continue reading “Hallstatt”